Why Am I a Unitarian Universalist?

translated by Sue Burke/ Picture by Peter Bowden @ UU Planet

It’s a pleasure for me to share how I came to be a Unitarian Universalist and to declare my gratitude and appreciation for this religion that freed me spiritually and helped me reestablish my relationship with the sacred.

It was back in 1978 when my resistance was overcome and I accepted an invitation from an acquaintance to visit her church in Brookfield, Wisconsin. After she had insisted for a long time, one Sunday when I was overwhelmed and frustrated, going through a terrible situation, I told my children: Let’s go to this church. After all it can’t be worse than staying home and watching television.

At that time, I was going through a period of being upset with God, priests, nuns, and everything that had to do with religion. This was because ever since I could remember until I left Catholicism, I had been obliged to believe so many things that I thought were irrational, and prohibited from so many other things that little by little I wound up feeling alienated and resentful. For example, they told me I couldn’t read any books on the Vatican’s list of prohibited works; I couldn’t read the Bible because it would make me crazy; if I belonged to the liberal political party (whose color was red) I would be condemned because red is the color of hellfire. I was told that we, the poor, were born to obey our masters, and if we were submissive and hard-working, God would give us Heaven in the next life. And then there were the inconsistencies: for example, that God was one being but at the same time three different beings with different attributes and names; that the Virgin Mary was queen of Heaven, mother of Jesus/God, but infinitely inferior to her son.

How different it was to hear my first Unitarian Universalist sermon, preached by the Rev. Robert Latham. I still remember my excitement to hear him reflect on how quantum leaps – sudden, sometimes dramatic changes or advancements in our understanding of molecular science – can at times resemble the unexpected and dramatic changes in our spiritual realm. Some of my excitement that Sunday I attributed to the fact that I held a degree in mathematics and physics, and to hear a sermon uniting science and spirituality was for me surprising and at the same time inviting. The warm welcome of the congregation after the service completed my experience and made me feel that this was a place where my heart was going to be moved and my intelligence stimulated. Returning again and again, I felt, like so many others, that I had finally found my spiritual home. So just a few months later I converted to this religion.

If my conversion to Unitarian Universalism was fast and easy, its practice was the complete opposite. Although I knew that learning to walk in a new world, charting my own path, was not only possible, it was indispensable to be able to realize my human potential, I still carried some deeply held Catholic fundamentals. My first shock came one Sunday after worship when I was complaining about a problem and blaming my poor mother. A woman asked me: And what have you done to change the situation? She continued as if it were perfectly natural: You know that each person is responsible for their actions and for their reactions to circumstances that life offers. Being accustomed to believe, conveniently, that God was responsible for everything that I did or didn’t do and I was impotent to discard the negative teachings that had grown entrenched over such a long time, it felt uncomfortable to find myself challenged that way.

Intrigued by this experience, I went home and began to examine my behavior and observe my reactions to circumstances that made me feel victimized or disregarded or that enraged me. Little by little I began to understand how at times, without realizing it, I provoked situations that resulted in my habitual problems. Being more alert and responsible for my actions and inaction brought me many benefits, yet my progress was neither fast nor easy.

Along with the idea that we are responsible for our actions, one of the basic principles of Unitarian Universalism is that each of us is responsible for our own theology. When I first heard this, I couldn’t understand how it was possible to have so much freedom and how I was going to exercise my free will to decide what to use to establish my beliefs and my relationship with the sacred. Now that I could decide once and for all whether I was going to believe or not in the existence of heaven, hell, afterlife, and everything related to religion and metaphysics, I was afraid of having so much freedom.

These reactions seemed completely paradoxical to me. Ever since I was a child, hadn’t I mentally refuted much of Catholicism, especially each time I recited the creed, which for me was full of fantasy and incomprehensible myths? Then why was assuming responsibility for my own beliefs now so hard and terrifying for me? After long thought, I reached the surprising conclusion that reciting the creed and the rosary in unison with so many other people who were believers during so many years gave me a certain sense of security and comfort. In the same way, confessing and doing a small penance each time I doubted or denied Catholic theology brought me back to peace with God and my conscience, and I could begin anew. But now without this security net, who or what would help me redeem myself when I fell? What would now be my psychological mitigation?

Increasing the challenge to my conversion, the fourth Unitarian Universalist principle calls us to a free and responsible search for truth and meaning, without limits. With this principle as a guide, we should not only respect any religion, philosophy, science, art, and whatever else that elevates or contributes to a person’s spiritual and mental development, we should also learn from them. To me, that seemed fascinating and at the same time disconcerting. Wasn’t considering other religions the much-feared heresy, one of the worst betrayals that anyone, especially a Catholic, could commit against their religion?

Months after attending Sunday Unitarian Universalist services, studying the principles and theology of my new religion by means of the examples and writings of its theologians and prophets, and seeing how this religion could elevate and transform the lives of those who practiced it, I finally came to understand that I could also be free to think, to accept or reject ideas, and to decide on my own moral and theological code. Then I felt such exhilaration that I seemed to be a condor let loose in the heights of the Andes, scanning an immense valley and being told: Fly! You have the right to fly as far and as high as you wish. Yet I realized sadly that my wings were atrophied. As I expressed it, although I had not been Catholic for a long time, I could not forget the illusion of security I found praying in the shelter of the school chapel, or after confessing and being pardoned; and how could I forget the feeling of protection and tenderness that enveloped me after praying to Our Lady Help of Christians?

Happily, those feelings of security reemerged when I sang hymns, recited affirmations, and took the hands of others to receive the benediction in my new Unitarian Universalist communities. When I finally internalized the idea that heresy simply meant to think and choose freely, I began to feel comfortable being a heretic and freethinker. Now it was easy for me to understand and even respect the ideas of atheists, agnostics, and of any religion that might seem unusual to me. It was also easy to understand and feel untroubled with something that we repeat frequently and that characterizes Unitarian Universalists, the fact that we feel more comfortable living with difficult questions than accepting easy answers.

Something very important that I derived from this freedom was to make peace with my former Catholic religion, keeping what continued to strengthen my spiritual life such as meditation, the freedom to love and to express my love for the sacred, compassion for the needy, discipline in work and study, and the idea that we are all temples of the divine.

Ever since I was a small child, I was impressed with the idea that my body was the temple of the Holy Spirit. That idea, similar to the Unitarian Universalist idea that we all carry a spark of the divine, helped me feel more at ease with my new religion. John Murray, who in 1770 was the first Universalist to preach about the concept of universal salvation on American soil, is credited with these words: “You may possess only a small light, but uncover it, let it shine, use it in order to bring more light and understanding to the hearts and minds of men and women.”

And in the church I attend, each Sunday we recite this benediction: May faith in the Spirit of Life, hope for the community of Earth, and love for the sacred in one another, be ours now and in all the days to come. The awareness of this spark of the divine, of this sacredness that we carry inside, is a great incentive to treat others with respect, compassion, and love.

If we believe that we all carry a small light inside, a spark of the divine, it’s not surprising that as a consequence we Unitarian Universalists take our first principle, which urges us to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person, seriously. Years after my conversion, I am still continuing to learn the deep meaning of this principle. I know now it entails the true acceptance of the idiosyncrasies, qualities, and even the defects of each person. Not the approval of bad or destructive acts, but the understanding born of compassion as human beings that all of us without exception are subject to fail, to offend, to do the precise thing we detest, and to feel guilty and ashamed about it.

To achieve this respect and regard for each person without exception, regardless of social class, color, sex, and beliefs although they may be opposed to ours, is obviously very difficult. From childhood we have learned to judge others and to detect those who are like ourselves and accept them, and at the same time to ignore or despise those who for some reason or other are different. Often we do this without malice, only because we have no incentive to change. Fortunately, once someone is in contact with a Unitarian Universalist congregation, it’s hard not to feel the push toward work for social justice and toward respect for all beings and spiritual growth, challenging us to live our first and fundamental principle with compassion and love.

As a child, one of the stories about saints that impressed me most was about Dominic Savio. When he was 14 years old he was playing as usual during recess, when someone asked him: Dominic, what would you do if you knew you were going to die in five minutes? Undisturbed, he answered: I would keep playing. For me, this was an example of how to live each moment according to its purpose and with a calm conscience. When I learned that a common spiritual practice among Unitarian Universalists is to live in the here and now, aware of every moment, it made me recall this anecdote and feel even more comfortable in my new religion.

Although living fully in the present moment requires effort, this practice can avoid anguish and wasted time. For many years I committed the error of living tethered to the past and worried about the future without realizing I was wasting precious moments that would never return.

Living in the here and now doesn’t mean failing to make plans for the future or forgetting the past. Rather, it means living life every moment with all possible presence and potential. It means being flexible. We can make every moment a wonderful moment if we accept with gratitude and wonder whatever surrounds us and whatever life offers at every moment. Even in the most tragic moments when we feel we might succumb to the weight of sadness and disappointment, when we know we have betrayed ourselves and we hate ourselves for it, in those moments, we can be present, aware of the intensity of our pain, and emerge more human with profound compassion for ourselves and for all the beings that accompany us in our journey through life.

Accustomed to the idea that as humans we hold dominion over nature and we can do with it what we wish, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the seventh Unitarian Universalist principal calls us to affirm and promote respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. Responsibility, respect, and love for our mother Earth is shown in our congregations by means of the many activities carried out to make sure their buildings are ecologically sound and practice efficient recycling. This serves as an inspiration to do the same in our homes.

Now you can see, dear readers, why I continue being a Unitarian Universalist and why I have so much gratitude for the founders and keepers of this faith. When I decided that this would be my religion, it gave me the space I needed to grow. It nourished me with all kinds of teachings, and it offered me a wealth of opportunities to learn, discuss, discern, choose, and have faith in myself. And all this within communities inspired and guided by very elevated spiritual and humane principles, which at times makes them difficult to accept and practice.

My very sincere desire is for members as well as friends and those who are curious about this religion to feel that this Church of the Larger Fellowship/Iglesia de la Gran Communidad is their spiritual home, accompanied by others who seek to create peace and who live for the here and now, aware that we have the power to turn every moment, regardless of how difficult it may be, into a wonderful moment because we accept with gratitude what life offers us. Let us open the doors of our hearts to let our sacred small light shine as John Murray invited us to do:

“Go out into the highways and by-ways of your country. Give the people something of your vision. You may possess only a small light, but uncover it, let it shine, use it in order to bring more light and understanding to the hearts and minds of men and women. Give them not hell but hope and courage. Do not push them deeper into their theological despair, but preach the kindness and everlasting love of God.”

So be it.